I’m embarrassed by people’s attitudes.

My generation is unsympathetic. In a world where you can say pretty much whatever you want from behind your screen with no repercussions, few bother with empathy or sympathy or those other things that should make us all human instead of  animals with iPhone’s. 

Out of all the things this has uncovered to me, misogyny directed from young adults my age at young women, has surprised me. 

When teenager Amanda Todd died, I saw endless amounts of people liking photos about a “slut” killing herself as if it was funny. Nobody of course wants to criticise the older man that received the photos. If an under-age girl sends photos to a grown man and he threatens to leak them, the girl apparently deserves to die. And there’s supposedly nothing twisted about that at all. 

I’ve seen “underage sluts” alluded to, as if young women literally throw themselves on adult men whilst they do everything they can to not, but can’t physically overpower a teenage girl and stop them. “Prick teases” who lure poor adult men who despite being adults cannot mentally reason if a misguided young woman flirts with them. 

I have heard people react to reports of rape with comments about what the girl was wearing as if sex crimes are actually about women having their thighs exposed and men, unable to control themselves, assume this means that they are available for sex, and are thus compelled to attack them. Instead of these men, criminals, being viewed as such they are  simple men, confused by bare flesh. And the blame somehow for no reason, lies with the woman. And nobody takes a moment to reflect on the immorality of not only the crime, but the judgement of the victim. 

Females are pressured to be sexy. Not just by the media, though that comes from both angles, lads mags with nude women looking dead behind the eyes, and women’s magazines crushing your self esteem and telling you to be sexier in order to meet a man, It’s in schools, it’s in the nasty sexist comments boys make about “who’d get it”, the cruel jibes and the sneers. The grabbing and laughing and comparing until you’re so self concious that you don’t feel like you, instead you feel like you’re putting on an elaborate performance in what they want, or you just try to be invisible, under the radar. If you don’t partake in looking and acting like the misogynistic men and women want you to this makes you “ugly” or “frigid” or “nothing special” but if you give in to this pressure, you’re a “slut”, a “whore”, a laughing stock. Neither option seems particularly appealing, there seems to be no winning. 

My generation are the professionals of the future, They will be doctors and lawyers and producers and editors. They are educated. But not in the simplest of things such as empathy and equality. 

Women are not vacuous bags of flesh for people’s pleasure, they are not prick teases or deserving victims, they are not sluts or whores or bitches. They’re not sandwich makers (however ironic you think you’re being when you say it or how much of a TOP LAD and BANTERSAURAS you think you are) They are people. And it would do us all a favour if they were treated as such. 


Fetishizing youth sucks for young people too

“Why do they even sell this stuff I mean what’s wrong with looking old?”

Last night one of the 23232897 adverts for an anti-ageing cream appered on TV and I posed the question out loud to my Dad and my friend.

“It’s health Jasmin…it’s good that they want people to look after themselves, what with pollutants in the air”. But that’s like saying the Western media’s obsession with massive boobs is to ensure the babies of the nation are well fed. Hardly anything seems to actually be about health, it’s aesthetics.

“it’s not about pollutants though…that’s not why they’re selling it. It’s about youth and wanting to look young and why is everyone so obsessed with it? Like when people get Botox”

“I think there’s a bit of a difference between moisturiser and Botox” my friend interjected. I muttered something about the bigger picture and shut up.

I thought about why I hated this obsession with youth, despite being young myself.

For the past few months I’ve been frustrated with the fact that after nearly 19 years of existence my “adult face” wasn’t quite…well, adult yet. Because you’re meant to look young aren’t you?

But i felt the wrong type of young. There was being a hot-young-thing, all toned flesh and glossy,parted lips, and the type of young where you get ID’d for a 15 film despite being a university student. I fall into the latter.

I thought a bit more and I noticed the depressing connection between being a “hot young thing” and being a bit like a stereotypical little girl.

Baby voices, puppy dog eyes, pouting, sharp mood changes between sulking and delighted, none of that’s seen as odd in a woman up to an arbitrary age because for some reason we’re thought to believe it’s cute and endearing and a load of other things. Of course most people don’t do this, but if you do you’re viewed as that bit more endearing by those particular type of individuals who just want someone to “look after”, to exert some sort of hold over. Imagine if men were encouraged to simper, how odd that would be. So why should women?

It creeped me out to say the least. I thought about how women are meant to be completely hairless like eggs (what an unsexy similie, see not all things hairless are sexy!) like how you are when your in primary school before puberty hits you and changes you into an adult. How women of all ages get their hoo-hah waxed to replicate the one you had as an eight year old. I believe in choice. You can talk and act and groom as you want. But should you really be doing things just to seem appealing rather than as something you want to do for yourself?

I thought about the way women are infantalised in general. How teddies and hearts and anything fuzzy and cute was entirely appropriate. Yesterday was “Steak and BJ Day”. I saw a tweet that summed up most stupid gender stereotypes. Along the lines of “Valentine’s day was all about chocolate and flowers so this is a Valentine’s Day for men”. Women are simple cutesy creatures, but at the same time should be sexually available and skilled in the kitchen. Talk about mixed messages. Imagine if this kind of rubbish spanned genders. There’d be an outcry.

There are so many creepy contradictions, juxtapoistions, and just things that seem to unfairly come into being a woman. I’ve decided to opt out of this weird ideal and stop chasing something that isn’t really a tangible thing, more an oppressive idea that’s trickled down to us all as the norm. We’re smart and sharp and funny and I can’t think of a single reason why it’s worth acting otherwise.